Seen the actress to the right on the TV commercial for Lyrica , the prescription remedy for fibromyalgia?   Yep, that’s the lady’s line in the commercial: “My muscles ached, so tender to the touch.”  If you’ve seen the commercial, you recall that she’s reading that line from her journal, recalling the past woes of her painful affliction before her doctor prescribed Lyrica.

Now who would write an entry in a journal like that?  Or if someone did, would she read it to an audience?  I sure wouldn’t.

But commercials make actors state all kinds of brazen things about the most indelicate topics.  Those “E.D.” prescriptions, perhaps, are the most outlandish, but you’ll see scores of others where some actor or actress jabbers openly and gleefully about his or her genital herpes or private-parts itching or painful bloating or  other intensely personal topics ranging from diahrrea to constipation.  Hardly anyone I know would realistically discuss personal conditions like these with such candor without turning multiple shades of red.

We can have some fun with this concept.  What would happen if the same ad guy worked up a diarist writing a journal entry to promote, let’s say, . . . a diahrrea medication:

“My bowels exploded, so violent and vile.”

Or a medication for, let’s say, constipation:

“My stomach  distended, so stretched and pooched out.”

Or one for, let’s say, hemorrhoids:

“My behind was inflamed, so raw to the touch.”

Or one for, let’s say, a stopped up nose:

My sinuses oozed, issuing copious streams of green mucous.” 

I could keep this going, but it’s getting late.  If I think of something to add later, maybe I’ll edit this post.  But for the time being, I haven’t had my bath yet:

“My underarms reek . . . so offensive to the family.” 

HaHa–Not true (At least no one in the house has complained.)