We kept Payton last Friday evening while Payton’s mom and dad went on an evening out.  In the course of the evening, Honey took Payton to the bath tub.  Payton tired of the bath sooner than Honey, so Honey summoned Papa to take Payton from the tub and dress her in her clean diaper and outfit.  And so, Papa did.

Now mind you, it’s been a fair number of years since Papa put on a baby diaper.    The technology has altered considerably, so much so that my family roared in laughter at the sight of Payton, pictured here.   Can anyone honestly tell what’s wrong with this picture?  (I still can’t!!)dscf12771

The accusation, and this according to Payton’s Honey and Payton’s Mom, is that ignorant Papa put the diaper on backwards.  They cite all this evidence about the tabs being this way or that, but all Papa knows is that the diaper went on and it stayed on after he stuck the velcro tabs, and that no pee-pee or poo-poo got past the diaper’s elastic boundary.

So who stirred this uproar over poor Payton’s diaper being backwards?  Is it really backwards?  Who defines backwards, anyway?  And does the backwards diaper not work as well as the frontwards diaper?  Who can prove it?

Aha, yes!  No one can prove the allegations against Papa.  He is vindicated!  And Payton was just as happy and as dry as can be.

Why must I defend myself against these outlandish allegations?   Life is too short!  When Payton is old and married with kids of her own, will she rail against her Papa for putting on her diaper  backwards when she was a year old?

“Nay,” I submit.  And shame on Honey and Payton’s Mom for their disreputable conduct toward me in this regard.  May merciful God be my judge, but not the grandmother and the mother, whose laughter echoes cruelly in my ears even as I type!!!