Bagels on the breakfast buffet

No self -respecting southerner would eat bagels for breakfast.  Life is simply too short.

Why not bagels? Truly, they’re comparable in toughness to grass-fed beef.   The  mouthful  grows bigger as you chew.  And then when you’re ready to swallow,  you better have a big gulp handy to wash  down the saliva-moistened wad of dough, which takes on the consistency of sticky, wet cement.   On t0p of that, the taste is zero. If you don’t plaster the bagel with cream cheese or jelly or some other topping, you  might as well eat a chunk of cardboard.

I don’t see what Northeasterners find in the stuff to eat it like they do, so I sure was dismayed at a recent conference to discover that the Continental breakfast consisted of bagels, bagels, and more bagels, as far as the tables stretched.  Not a banana or a cinnamon role in sight, much less a plate of eggs and grits.

Eggs and grits? Now that’s a breakfast of champions!