Northern Tissue advertising makes interesting claims about the role and function of toilet paper.

I’ve gotten a kick lately out of Northern toilet tissue ads on TV: “It’s time to get honest about what goes on in the bathroom” and “I need toilet paper I can trust.”

Forget it, Northern.  Your commercial tricks are wasted on me!

First of all, I remember Uncle Jack’s discourse on the subject of toilet paper, somewhat like this: “They print pretty little flowers on it, and they even scent the paper.  But what do you do with it?”  The answer to the rhetorical question, of course, begs no answer.

Anyway, I remember the original “toilet paper you can trust.”  I found it in Mr. Ernest’s and Mrs. Annie’s outhouse: remnants of the 1960 Sears-Roebuck catalog, resting on the bench of the one-holer in the homestead’s backyard.  The catalog provided more versatile “sanitary service” because not only could you perform the essential function with the paper, but you could read the leaf you tore out for use before its dedication to service.

My favorite section of the Sears-Roebuck toilet roll in that era?  The ladies’ underwear section, of course.  As a 7 year old, how fascinating the images of ladies clad in bras and panties!

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