A Facebook friend of mine recently posted a comment declaring the existence of a national condition known as “electile dysfunction”: a condition resulting from the slate of candidates’ incapability of arousing any interest or passion among the electorate.

The starched candidate: Mitt Romney

I thought that was pretty funny.

And pretty accurate.

This blog earnestly avoids polarizing political commentary, but when I look at (and listen to) some of the candidates, I can’t resist a cynical jab in the interest of good satire: today’s victim, Mitt Romney.

Back in my day, we made fun of politicains’ hair spray.  Their stiff coiffures featured wavy bangs swooping across their foreheads, ears hidden beneath thick shocks of frozen locks.  In a gale, their hair piece would quake as a congealed unit, so glued together it was with hairspray.  (Newt preserves that tradition the best among the current slate of dysfunctionates.)

Romney, though, seems to be “starched”: Starched/pressed blue jeans, starched/pressed shirts, and even starch/pressed hair.

Gollee, the man looks ridiculous!  Does he really believe he compells middle-class descendants of the blue collar working class, like me, by donning starched/pressed blue jeans and wearing an open collar?  Nope.  He’s utterly unconvincing.  To me, his glossy phoniness crystallizes an impression that he’s nothing but a dirty-rich upper class snob attempting lamely to impersonate middle-Americans to win the election.

And so Mitt contributes to my 2012 season of “electile dysfunction.”  He’s not the only one, but he’s the subject for today. :=)

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