My wife devoted a considerable portion of her afternoon yesterday to chauffeuring Sadie and Marley to the vet for their bi-annual ritual of preventatives, check-ups, and vaccinations. Of course, the royal mutts must be chauffeured in turn, one at a time, because a single driver trying to manage the two at once creates an unreasonably dangerous driving hazard. So the time and effort required for the operation is two-fold.Sadie and Marley

In addition to the bite out of Mommy’s time, they also took a $110 bite out of Mommy’s and Papa’s bank account. I suppose I should be happy that the cost was not more, but considering that we rescued both of those dogs as young strays running the cruel streets of town, gave them a loving home, and spoiled them unmercifully for the last six to eight years hence, they should be paying us. Or at least we should qualify for a grant from the SPCA.

But instead, we’re stuck with that pair of vaut pas riens (good for nothings) whose principle industry accomplishes little more than pollute the back yard with puppy poops (that I have to pick up), create barren trails in the lawn where their comings and goings kill the grass, shed frizzy tufts of hair that have to be vacuumed regularly inside the house, and then expect two meals a day, in addition to their daily requirement of after-lunch People Crackers and dog bone biscuit treats.

If I had any sense, I’d take them to the vet and pay $35 one time to have them peacefully put to sleep. But I guess I don’t have any sense. It seems those worthless mutts have the manipulative means of robbing us of both our practical sense as well as our dollars and cents.

I can’t say I wasn’t warned, for the truth about dogs is biblical. In Philipians 3:2, St. Paul, who must have been a dog owner and knew the truth, said it straight up: “Beware the dogs…” I must have missed my memory verse the Sunday we covered that one, and now it’s too late, for as the Psalmist also wrote, “Dogs surround me, a pack of villains encircles me.”

Sadie and Marley: a pack of villains harbored in my back yard.